Rude?

Andrea Burns post 9

Something discussed this week that really stuck out to me was Marcus's story of his father finding his girlfriend's father to be rude because she got his plate for him, instead of him getting it for himself. She had saw no problem with it since that how she was raised to act and what she was used to. How one is raised obviously differs from household to household, regardless of race. It really can effect how you come across to others. What you consider natural, they may consider to be rude. Marcus's story helped me to understand the problems I have had with my exboyfriend's family in the past and hopefully a way that it can be resolved. While we are both white, we came from drastically different households. He lives in Long Island, so the first time I met his family I was staying at his house for a few days. While I thought how I acted was fine, I come to find out his parents thought me to be rude. That was obviously very upsetting to hear and for awhile I couldn't understand why I came across as that. How I acted was typical for how I was raised. Now I can understand how the differences of our livestyles clashed and came off in a manner that it wasn't intended to be. I was raised in a household of pretty much silence. I was taught to not speak until spoken to, to not address someone unless they address you first. I was not suppose to start conversation, but rather to respond when someone starts speaking to me. In today's society, that may seem a bit odd but that was how I was raised to be. I didn't find that to be rude, but how I was suppose to act. So when I went to visit him and met his family, I acted as I've been taught to act. I was pretty quiet and didn't talk unless I was spoken to. I wasn't doing it to try to be rude but rather that was my way of being respectful of them and their house. Unfortunatly, it did come across as rude to them since it was not the life they were accustomed to at all. They were the total opposite of my family. They had open, flowing communication that did not need to be initiated by the adults. Him and his siblings were able to address them when they wanted to, rather than needing to be brought into the conversation. His household was loud and full of discussion, totally in contrast to where I had come from. So when I stepped in with my "do not speak unless spoken to" background, it totally clashed from his open, communicative household. I was viewed as rude when I was just acting by the customs that I knew. Now looking at the situation, I can understand as to why things went as they did. The differences in background really affected the relationship I had with them. If I am to ever meet them again, hopefully better understanding background differences can improve our relationship.