Sheila's Post 1

Generally, when asked (what is my racial heritage?). I can pretty much tell what the individual(s) are expecting me to say. When I fail to produce a personal version of 'Roots', their facial expression confirm my observation. They look bewildered, blank, questioning, disappointed, and sometimes angered. What I've found to be very interesting, is that those type responses have come from all sorts of folk....young, old, educated, barely educated, people of Color, Caucasian people, american, foreign, etc. Not any one particular group from any specific area.
What that says to me, is that there are too many folks either wanting and/or needing me, an american woman of Color, to at least fit a generally accepted version of what they have come to believe I should represent.
I am an american woman of Color. My beautiful brown skin is just but one shade from the resulting rainbow of colors from the mix between a multitude of beings known as the Human Race!
When I was a child my family couldn't afford an encyclopedia so I looked up everything in the dictionary. Whether it was a word, place, thing, phrase, etc. One day I heard a woman refer to another child from my school that I felt looked just like me, as a negro. I didn't quite understand the context in which she was using it, but it seemed to me that she was calling him that name. I wanted to know what was a negro? In a Thorndike-Barnhart copyrighted 1969 elementary school edition dictionary I found: negroid - an inferior race of people.
I brought that to my mother's attention. I asked where are those people and how did they catch inferior? She calmly explained how many things written in our text books are incorrect. And how many people who are afraid to truely accept all God's children just the way He created them, say and do some horrible things. She then gave me the above definition of skin color and race. It made sense to me then and it makes sense to me now.
My mother told us that if we acknowledged all of our heritage no one would want to or be able to interject such hate, horror and lies into our history because we would all be busy caring for and loving each other. We wouldn't see any differences between us.
I believed that because that's pretty much how life was in my family's homes. My father was from Barbados with dark chocolate colored skin. His father was from France with even darker chocolate skin. His mother was from Curacao and Caucasian.
My mother was from New York with very light tan colored skin. Her father was from Kansas with medium brown colored skin. His mother was from North Dakota with golden brown skin. His father was Ojibwe from Canada with golden brown skin. My mother's mother was from New York with very, very light tan skin. Her mother was Lumbee from North Carolina with honey brown skin. Her father was Caucasion (Jewish), from Germany.
Have you kept track? And that's just from the information that I have. I can't begin to imagine the volume of missing information. So, which line do I claim as my heritage? I'm pretty certain that if I were to continue further down the line, like everyone else on this planet, I would find some Africans. However, as my mother so wisely pointed out we need to claim us all. It would be a huge error to refer to myself as African-American...only! Just as it would be for me to claim French...only, Native American...only, and so on.
As I continue to grow and learn I've watched as over time more labels are created to supposedly identify who, what, and where we (people), come from. I believe that because so many of us have been lied to, are confused, want to disassociate from, want to belong to, are hungry for some sense of a solid recognized identity, that we make the mistake of grasping onto labels that may sound cool or good, what may feel good and so on. Here's an example: When I was a very young child I was colored. Later on I was negro. The next thing I knew I was Black (and suddenly proud). And later on, low and behold, I'm supposed to be African American and shouting out much love for my mother country!
I'm sorry, I mean no disrespect to anyone that feels a strong sense of connection to any land and/or groups of specific peoples. However, a long time ago I stopped accepting the labels that were thought up and handed to me. I stopped checking those race choice boxes on business forms and applications. When asked 'what my race is' I write in 'human'. Think about it, if as they state, the information won't be used for anything, why the heck are you asking for it? All any business or government entity need know is my gender (not sex), and age.
Racism is a part of our daily lives and it's not just a so called black and white issue. Just because someone may not outwardly reveal that they are a racist, doesn't mean that they are not! If you carefully observe everyone in your surroundings everyday, you will pick up on all sorts of nuances in people's interactions. Not too many folks do that because life is just so busy and much goes unnoticed. However, I challenge you to do a 24 hour purposeful study. It's sad and it's real! But we (people) don't have to accept that. Dare to be different in a positive way!!!